watching yourself in the mirror

to pick at the finest lines and clogged pores

Fiction, 2023

Rouge was one of my most highly anticipated books of last year because I love Mona Awad (and her 2012-coded Instagram). She’s twisted and weird, and I can imagine us drawing pentagrams in the sand together as children.

Meet Mirabelle Nour; she’s half Egyptian from her father, whom she has no memories of, and half French from her mother, Noelle, who raised her. After a difficult childhood and an increasingly strained relationship with her mother, she moves to Montreal and sets up her own life. She spends her days working at a dress store to fuel her true passion—skincare. She buys jars of snail goo™, barrier-repairing zinc, droppers of gold, and mushroom mist. If you hated reading about the lists of medicines our beloved unnamed narrator in My Year of Rest and Relaxation downed, then the first half of this novel will be a drag. But, if you—like me—appreciated the psychosis of this, then you’ll have a great time. 

In the first chapter, Mirabelle learns that her mother has died. She now sets off to California to take care of her mother’s houses, possessions, and, most importantly, the red jars of creams and liquids she finds decorated in all corners of her mother’s bedroom. Her investigation into the source of these potions leads her to a manor by the edge of the sea where beautiful and pale women with blonde hair entice her with what she cares about most: her reflection. 

Rouge is a sexy, gothic, fever-dream exploration of grief and beauty. At every turn, it interrogates what we find beautiful, what we seek to hide, and how we go about masking the ugliest parts of ourselves. I read it almost entirely at night, flipping pages with glossy red gel nails, and would take a break to apply my daily Salicylic Acid, Vitamin C+E and Ferulic Acid. It was bizarre and comical, and it made me remember that mass hysteria is at least a form of togetherness. 

Film - Black Swan & American Psycho

Song - Liquid Smooth - Mitski 

P.S. - I accidentally let auto-correct run wild which changed “Mona Awad” to “Mona Award” - I’m so sorry!